VRay is physically based - if 4 lights illuminate a real room (of that size) then it will do so in Vray. However, you are acting as a photographer when you render an image - so all the rules that apply to photography apply here. Primary lights ‘fill’ lights etc, exposure, film speed, etc - Vray can simplify all this but it still all applies as well as artistic intent.
I would also ensure you change the default scale for lights to Watts or Lumens, you can then realistically balance the power of your lights based on real world values.
Also bear in mind your materials will have an impact on scene illumination (reflectivity, bounces etc) but its best to get your lighting setup on a clay render that you are happy with, then tweak the lighting after you have applied materials.
To answer your question above, yes include the vray light - thats what is physically illuminating the scene (and you have ultimate control over)