Mathematics doctoral thesis proposal:
I will research the interactions between the number “42”, other pseudoperfect numbers, Bistromath, and the likelihood that your intestine will leap up through your espohagus and strangle you should you dare to listen to Vogon Poetry.
During the course of my research, vast quantities of beer will be required to unlimber the imaginations of my research team. We hope to, among other things, prove that 6 x 9 does indeed result in 42, disprove the Babelfish proof of the non-existence of God, disprove Fermat’s Last Theorem. and repeal the laws of probability.
Our research may require consultation with Wowbagger, the infinitely prolonged. Given this, and the difficultly of locating Wowbagger, I can provide no estimate of the time required for completion.
As per university guidelines, I hereby swear and affirm that I will allow no finite improbability generators within 1,200 hundred parsecs of my research team, nor will I allow the brewing of hot drinks, including tea. Warm drinks to a maximum of 42 degrees Celsius will be allowed. I will also vet all non-academic employees to insure none have degrees beyond 37 degrees Celsius and that I will do a thorough background investigation aimed to discover if they have ever been considered a “smart ass” by anybody. Finding such a consideration will mean immediate failure of the background investigation, unless said consideration came from an actual ass of the opposite sex (in which case I’ll assume that the candidate just has some really good pick up lines).
I really mean this. Really. Truly. Look at me, don’t I have a face you can trust?